January Fever - it's Taking Over
January: it's the first month of the year so inevitably all the 'new year new me' drivel comes pouring out of everyone mouths like some sort of illness, and as I've gotten older I've really started to notice there's something weird about this month. It does things to people, strange, strange things. New years day is obviously a complete write off, a day of recovery and in some cases (certainly my own) a day of more drinking, however as soon as January 2nd comes along the strange behaviour starts to unfold.
What is this bizarre behaviour I speak of? Well my friend I can assure you you've been witness to it and more than likely succumbed to the January spell more than a few times. Yes it's that time of year where people essentially forget who they are and start doing all sorts of crazy things like buying gym leggings and going on juice cleanses. Left right and centre you hear all theseI people telling you their new years resolutions like you actually asked them. And I wouldn't mind because I know the sentiment's good, but honestly? Who are we trying to fool!?
'Dry January' has to be one of the main offenders, I'm all for self love and respecting your insides and that but do you really have to spend an entire month of self torture just to then go on an 8 day bender come Feb the 1st. I say that, but then almost every single person I know doing it lasted no longer than 10 days. In fact it almost felt like January 10th was actually the 1st of Feb given that virtually everyone I went to the pub with that night, shamefully uttered the words 'I was meant to be doing dry Jan". And the moment that double gin and tonic hit their lips, that was it. Dy Jan who? Who on earth's Jan?
There's other symptoms of January-itus that can't go unnoticed, a prime example being the gym membership. Yes that's hundreds of pounds a year or at least a good 6 months of £20+ payments on a contract that you're tied down to and literally can't escape. All because the January you thought you'd suddenly develop a new found love for weights and Pilates that you've absolutely despised every other month of the year. It's just a matter of time until our lives start to take the reigns once more and we start to forget all the resolutions we made. Some people do better than others I admit, I personally struggled even setting a resolution on the grounds there was no point lying to my self. Then there's always a couple of soldiers who manage to make it towards the end of Jan, trooping on until roughly the 28th when they get strong flashbacks of what it was like to have a soul. They remember a happier time where they consumed cheese and woke up after sunrise to drive into work as opposed to taking a 'leisurely jog' which everyone knows there's nothing leisurely about it. And with that, by Feb the 1st everything becomes a lot less unusual and all those gym leggings that were purchased become the perfect attire for binge-watching a new series on Netflix in.